How to play intimate encounters in Cantr
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Don't play with minors
First of all, you shouldn't play with minors because in most countries you can get in trouble for that, and potentially the game could also get sued. To avoid this, you can contact the Players Department (email@example.com) and ask if the player of a character your character is interested in is over 18. If the answer is no, you're not supposed to write anything explicit.
If you're a minor yourself, it's more fair towards others if you don't flirt with people in game and instead play your characters as asexual.
Only play with consenting adults
Secondly, some people don't want to roleplay intimate encounters for other reasons, even if they were over 18, so you need to start things slow and see if they return the interest. Mostly you can tell from the playing style if somebody is ready to go further than hugging and kissing, but if they are sending mixed messages or you otherwise want to play it safe, you can ask them OOC if they want to go further or "fade to black". Fading to black means leaving out the explicit writing and just imagining something happened.
Only play in private
Intimate encounters should only be roleplayed in private environments, where there's no chance of being overheard, because there's no telling if the spectators are played by minors or otherwise sensitive people. The most suitable locations are buildings and other indoor spaces, preferably locked to prevent unwanted visitors from walking in on you. Ships are also pretty safe, although if you stay floating in one spot for too long, it gets likely for someone to dock to see if it's abandoned. It's okay to have an audience, as long as you make sure they are willing to watch and not played by minors.
Outdoor locations are generally not good places for intimate encounters, even if it was an empty location, because someone might spawn any moment. Likewise on the roads, travelers might overhear you and they can appear without any event to warn about their presense. In the past it was possible to "do it" in whispers and the only risk of getting caught was if someone accidentally posted in public or replied to the wrong person, but nowadays whispers can be overheard, so basically you should never rp intimate encounters in a crowded location.
One-liners vs multi-liners
If you get around to playing an intimate scene, it's polite to give the other person time to reply, so it's preferred that you think before you hit enter, and put all your actions into one post rather than adding a new line every five seconds. Cantr isn't a chatroom. Some people might spend 15 minutes or over working on a well thought out posting, and if you add another one-liner while they're still typing, they might have to modify what they'd already written to react to the new change in events and effort would go to waste.
Basically there are two types of players related to this type of rp: the kind who write one-liners and the kind who write longer posts. It's quick to detect which type you're playing with. If you're playing with someone who uses one-liners, it's better to adjust your own playing to match this instead of writing long posts with a lot of details, because one-liner people prefer to get things finished in one sitting and wouldn't appreciate a one-sided novel. Whereas if both players prefer longer posts, it's more likely that acting out a single scene will take a week in real life. Figure out which kind of interaction you prefer and try to find like-minded company.
Even if you're in the category of people who prefer long postings, it's good to make sure that things are advancing with each message. Write things that should stir a reaction out of your playmate and don't forget to write out reactions to things they wrote on their turn. If your character doesn't react in any way, it might appear that they're not really enjoying the situation, whereas if you only rp reactions but no actions, you're leaving your playmate to do all the work. Including a bit of both is the best.
It's possible for characters to have non-consensual encounters, but only if the players are consenting. The player of the rapist must ask the victim OOC if they're willing to participate before initiating the scene. If the victim's player says no or doesn't reply at all, it's against the NCS rule to continue.
If someone tries to rape your character and you don't want to rp such a scene, you should tell them OOC that you're uncomfortable with it. According to game rules, it's disallowed to continue such a scene after the victim's player has expressed unwillingness to participate. If the offender still continues after discontent has been expressed, the victim's player should contact the Players' Department.
It's considered bad form to do things in one turn, such as ripping off someone's clothes, without giving them a chance for their own input. "Attempts" is always a good word in this sort of situations, because it leaves writing the results up to the opponent and allows them to state that your action failed. It's best to start out slow and observe what sort of vocabulary the victim's player is using, and adjust your own accordingly. It can be assumed that most people willing to play rape are also willing to use explicit language, but someone might also rather fade to black and just rp the aftermath.
If your character gets sexually assaulted by someone, you can try to drag the assailant somewhere, and if it's successful, they're obviously too weak to be believably committing such an act, whereas if you can't quite reach 100 % but it's still considerably over 50 %, you can point out OOC that your character is physically stronger and/or a better fighter, and ask to take that into account. Of course your character can be intimidated or coerced into things even if they were more athletic than the assailant, but that sounds like an unusual scenario.
If you are okay with playing a victim, feel free to rp as you like, either resistant or submissive, defiant or frightened, but take into consideration that autohitting is never nice, whether it's used by the assailant or the victim. So if you for example rp sinking your knee into the assailant's crotch, it's good to follow with an attack using the game's attack system, and rp that the attempt failed if you miss or get blocked by the shield. It's also okay to say OOC that you can acknowledge something happened, but prefer not to go into details. Then the attacker is required to fade into black and leave you to rp the results.
Players are not the same as characters
One must acknowledge the difference between players and characters. Roleplaying this sort of stuff is not the same thing as cybering, so it's not appropriate to ask OOC what the other player is wearing, or ask them to use a webcam. For most people this goes without saying, but occasionally there are creeps who just don't get it. And no one wants to play with creeps. Also if you get an erection in real life, keep that to your own knowledge. No one wants to hear about that.